Family values are said to be those learned within a traditional family unit, examples include: honesty, caring, humour, learning, wisdom, leadership, and compassion. Maybe some of these values are not shared by certain of my family members!
Recently, my belief was confirmed that another family member has been involved with the abuse (some of it online) and attempts at serious harm I have experienced for over six years. This woman is married to a relative.
Although I have not seen her often, after my sister died and just before the real abuse started, this woman would deliberately try to get me talking about my relative. If I did not rise to the bait the first time, she would raise the subject again during a visit to try to get me to talk about her. Also at this time my relative briefly mentioned that this woman was useful as she could find out what was being said.
These factors made me suspect who could be behind all the abuse from my relative who I have always found to be very impressionable. I believed that someone had to be encouraging her obsessive behaviour.
The person who has been encouraging or, to use the legal term, inciting, this behaviour already has a previous criminal conviction for theft for which she received a suspended prison sentence. It therefore seems rather surprising to me that she has followed this latest course of action as she appears to believe that:
1) her involvement would never be discovered,
2) so there would be no danger of her having to appear in court,
3) if she was taken to court, the business she is involved in would not be affected in any way.
When the theft of several thousand pounds by this person was discovered, she found herself to be suffering from a psychiatric illness. This continued for a few months after the court case and then she made a very good recovery. There has been no mention of a recurrence of this illness since then. I hope she stays well over the next few weeks or months.
She has always given me the impression that she believes she is more intelligent than the family she married into, and she could be right. However, I cannot see the logic of a person spending years building up a transport business with her husband and then acting in a way which threatens its destruction for no good reason. At best, this appears to be shortsighted because she would know that my relative has tried to cause me very serious harm on several occasions, and to incite such behaviour is a criminal offence.
It also shows a surprising lack of care and consideration for her husband and the son involved in the transport business. What will they do if the enterprise fails now?
It also makes me wonder about her appearing to be friendly with my relative, and then encouraging her in a course of action which could lead to her committal to prison. Is this what you do to your friends? Also, my relative is now, like this woman, unemployable because of her actions. Might the woman not have been a better friend if she had tried to protect my relative from this type of behaviour?
I have always suspected that this woman likes to manipulate people if she can. I have tried to think about what the benefit could be to her in using my relative in this way. The woman has always seemed to like my relative and want to be her friend, so is the benefit the satisfaction of knowing she can influence the behaviour of someone she seems to admire? Or is it that she gets a thrill from manipulating the situation in secret?
I believe that my relative deleted all this woman’s social media messages as soon as she received them to avoid discovery, so it seems astonishing that she cannot see that she has been willing to take the blame for her own actions and has covered up for the person who encouraged her.
We have all on plenty of occasions said or done something and then thought afterwards that it would have been far better to have avoided that mistake. However, not many of us have spent a number of years continually behaving in such a damaging way with apparently little thought for the consequences.
Out of respect for other relatives and their spouses who live in the region I have had to relocate to, I have waited to see if any attempt is made to work towards resolving this situation. I am not aware that anything has been done, so feel court action is needed as if this woman is found to have a psychiatric condition then she would benefit from a treatment order.