I have been giving some thought about why people feel the need to bully or be difficult with others.
As my readers will know, apart from being bullied at work, I have been the target of online bullying which was instigated by family members wanting to spread malicious gossip.
I have had difficulties with one neighbour who I do not know personally but who spread the misinformation about me and recently behaved threateningly towards me. Whatever he subsequently said, he did see me when he did this: I am quite tall, was wearing bright blue and have red hair. The sun was shining radiantly. I believe that there is a history of awkwardness with neighbours there. My sister used to live near his employer.
Workplace bullying can often occur when the victim makes the bully feel insecure. I believe I was considered to be good at my job and the bullying manager might not always have been highly regarded. He did not stop when I confronted him, and later just lied his way out of trouble – which he seems to like bringing upon himself. He certainly seems to enjoy bullying. He gave me the impression of feeling empowered by it.
The bullies have as I said in a previous post presented themselves as victims after action was taken to deal with the bullying. It seems that in their eyes it was ok for them to be nasty, but when the tables appeared to be turning they did not like it. [I have to add here that there are many more decent people in my life and neighbourhood who just want to co-exist peacefully!]
I feel that people must derive some sort of satisfaction from bullying or being awkward with others or there would be no value to this type of behaviour. There is a lot of information and opinion available about it, most of which states that people behave this way because of low self-esteem or insecurity which they bolster by bullying or being awkward with others. For example, they might imagine that others are against them so they decide to be proactive and “get in” first. There can also be a need for acknowledgement, like the child who behaves badly at school just to get attention. Adults may also behave this way because they want attention and, in their eyes, kudos from others. Another reason can be that some aspect of the hated person in some way reminds the hater of someone in their past.
This neighbour for a time used to deliberately delay me on my way to work and on one occasion blocked my route for a time. This all appears to have started because he thought I might have laughed at him on one occasion [I didn’t and I have no idea why he would think I would do this when we don’t know each other]. Of course, it could be that whoever told him this had their own agenda.
To me, another reason they may have behaved this way could be that they have far too much time on their hands!
There is another person in my locality with whom I have never had any dealings. A couple of years ago she used to “rant” about me for about 20 minutes at a time to builders working on my property. They were nonplussed about it and just listened politely, shaking their heads as they walked away! Apparently, she has decided now that she is going to “get me”. I am waiting to see what form this will take:-
- Maybe she will hide behind a tree and jump on me while I am walking my dog
- Or she could launch a drone to drop something nasty on me in my garden
- Or maybe she will decide she wants a duel with walking sticks at dawn (I have a stout thumb-stick which could be useful).
My bichon frise and I are going into training to develop defensive tactics to be ready for when she takes her action. He is concentrating on target practice: I won’t say what he will be ejecting and when, as it would lose the element of surprise. I am going to focus on tactics and hand-to-hand combat. We will be ready! We are also considering the pros and cons of bulletproof vests and checking out their availability.
Motivational writers would say that I should send loving, healing thoughts to this person which I will endeavour to do. Otherwise I will look for a van to keep parked up as this might come in handy for occasional use.
NEXT POST: TOXIC ORGANISATIONS
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