WORKPLACE BULLYING: WHAT HAPPENED

This is my experience of being bullied and how it can affect your life.  This is for people who have been bullied in the past and may recognise aspects of my experience – and those who may be bullied in the future.

In 2010 I was working for a government agency by which I had been employed for 10 years.  It is based in a small English seaside town and is part of a large government department.  I am a single woman with an adult son.  I enjoyed a social life and dated but was not in a long term relationship.  I went out 3 times with a man I had known casually for about 2 years.  He ended the relationship which I accepted without any difficulty as I had begun to hear rumours of lies of a sexual nature that he had been spreading about me.  I had asked him on several occasions not to talk about me as I am very private.  As soon as he had ended the relationship he wanted to resume it, but I had by now realised he had truthfulness issues so was not interested.  With hindsight I could have handled this better with him but I was very upset at the lies.  He had previously told me he suffered from depression and he seemed to be an attention-seeker.  He then began a 5 year hate campaign, spreading rumours about me, which continues to this day.

I became involved with another man who was completely different so tried to put the situation with the previous man behind me.  My mother had been diagnosed with dementia in 2007 and I was one of her carers with my sister, who I had never had a good relationship with.  I lost an uncle in 2010 unexpectedly, much to my sadness as I was very fond of him and he had always given me a lot of support – my father who I had been close to had died about 30 years previously.  My aunt was suffering from Alzheimer’s disease.  I did what I could to help her stepdaughters care for her.  My aim at this time was just to get through each day as best I could with the pressures I had.

My job was to enforce payments from members of the public who generally did not want or did not have the means to pay.  I appeared to have an aptitude for the job and was fairly happy there.  I was regarded as a member of the department who should not be “messed with”: this probably related mainly to the fact that I was effective in my job.  As I am a hard worker I generally got good results and always had good relationships with my managers – there were frequent changes of team structure and manager.  In order to maximise my pension I had a few months earlier given up my part-time teaching job which I enjoyed and increased my hours in the civil service, so was working 34 hours per week over 4 long days.

I was told on yet another reorganisation in 2010 that I would be working for a manager I did not know well.  I had heard rumours about him and he was not well liked or respected, but I tend to form my own opinions about people and not pay too much attention to gossip.  I therefore was fairly sanguine about the next move.  I believe he had asked for me to be on his team.

Alan, who was about 10 years younger than me, placed me near to his own desk and seemed to start a charm offensive.  As he is not of the physical type I find attractive and I had little rapport with him I did not respond to this. Also I did not date work colleagues.

The rumours of a sexual nature continued to circulate about me.  The man who was spreading lies about me and the new manager know each other and the manager started to repeat these rumours at work which I found humiliating.  The manager also gave out personal information about me so I would hear people talking about my age and approximate salary as I was walking around the small town I live in (a breach of data protection law).  I spoke to another manager about this and asked to move team.  I was subsequently told that the senior manager in the department had said that I could not move immediately but would be able to in 6 months if I still wanted to (in fact I was left there for approximately one year).  No reason for the delay was given.  I was not in the habit of asking to move team, but there was a culture of some of the senior managers not making concessions to subordinates for difficulties with managers or team members. [Strong” managers are highly valued there.  I always believed that the prevailing culture is to treat subordinates like units of production rather than people.  Individual preferences or issues are overriden.  A year or two after I joined the agency a parliamentary select committee became involved in the need to improve the culture in this particular branch of the agency because of the problems.]

BULLYING MANAGER

Alan, the new manager, had therefore found an area of vulnerability for me and made constant comments about my age.  I believe this was to spite me for not wanting a relationship with him.  I knew by now that the senior manager would not listen to me or any manager intervening on my behalf, and it was clearly impractical to complain to the manager who was doing the bullying.  I did tackle him about his constant comments and told him that what he was doing was breaching age and sex discrimination laws but he was arrogantly dismissive of this.  He still gave me a lot of unwanted attention.  It was confusing that he was nice to me but constantly making reference to the fact that I was an older worker.  I decided to grit my teeth to get through this time until I could escape from him.  Several senior managers sat on a nearby bank of desks but the bullying only occurred when they were not at their desks.

I discussed the situation on several occasions with his deputy but her attitude was “that it is just how he is”.  She was keen for promotion so I feel did not want to make waves.

My spirits became lower and lower as the manager appeared to enjoy my reaction to his constant comments about my age.  I constantly felt undermined, worthless, humiliated and isolated.

At my annual review he verbally gave me a “Good” marking but put this as “Average” in his written report (which was picked up by a senior manager) and on my computerised HR records – where it remained.  I consistently had had “Good” markings throughout my time there.  A bonus was paid which related to the level of marking awarded so I lost money because of this.

In late 2011 I was moved to a good manager and with hindsight can see I was suffering from stress and depression at this time.  My mother died shortly after the move and I went off sick for a period of time.  The local family doctors are all aware of the harsh, rigid, unsympathetic management culture in this branch of the civil service which causes a lot of health problems for its employees.  The employer’s response is to start the disciplinary process with employees who they deem take too much sickness.

EFFECTS OF WORKPLACE BULLYING

I returned to work and went off sick again.  I then started counselling and began to see the effect the bullying had had on me.  I had stopped going out in the town I lived in and led a more isolated life as I felt I could not trust anyone.  Some people would have no problem with hearing themselves being discussed as they walked about their place of work or the town they lived in.  For me it was a huge problem.  I wrote to my employer as part of the counselling and set out what had happened.  The counselling was followed by a course of therapy: also a result of the bullying.

Unfortunately, at this time my son stopped being part of my life for a couple of years and a longstanding friend appeared to become jealous of the change in my circumstances (through a modest inheritance from my mother) and ended contact with me: I was probably also dull company because of the depression.  The man I had been involved with also dropped out of my life.  I had lost my closest forms of support.

When walking around the town I heard that my employers had been discussing whether to terminate my employment because of my sickness record so I had no alternative but to return to work, even though I was not well.  I would also hear details of my finances (following the death of my mother), ie the balance left from selling my previous property and the purchase of my new one.  My colleagues had done a land registry check on my former and new properties so knew the finances involved.

On the first day of my return to work in spring 2012 an investigation into my allegation of bullying was started.  As I was not in any way better physically or mentally this was a huge ordeal and I feel demonstrates the employer’s lack of compassion.  The bullying manager (about whom there had been complaints of bullying for many years) manipulated the two witnesses I had named into saying nothing, one of these was his deputy who I had discussed the situation with on several occasions previously.  The manager is a divorced man with two young sons and had said to the witnesses that he did not know how he was going to feed his kids if he was sacked.  He retained his post: I was not surprised.

[The trade union representative who supported me at this interview subsequently switched to supporting the bullying manager and I was left with a more inexperienced representative who did not know my case as well.  The representative who had switched therefore knew all details of my case.  As I was depressed at the time I told the investigating officer I did not believe any action would be taken to deal with the bullying manager and I would not be appealing against the decision.  I did not read the interview transcripts until after I had resigned from the civil service some years later.  I was disappointed that the two witnesses lied for the bullying manager and said they had not seen any evidence of bullying.  He had said I had asked him a lot of questions about his personal life which he was not happy about.  I had no personal interest in him whatsoever and had commented at a previous sickness interview that it was very boring listening to this manager constantly talking about himself; it also held me up from doing my work!  This was documented.]

I offered to move out of the department, or even to transfer to another civil service department but was told that I would not be released.  I said I did not under any circumstances want to return to the same room as the bullying manager and, after an occupational health interview, was moved to another floor and allocated to another good manager.  I was still part of the same department, doing different but related work to that I had done previously.  My results were very good.  This arrangement was an acceptable compromise, although I had to complain on occasions as the bullying manager would sometimes turn up and have loud conversations by my desk.  I still felt some stress but it was not at the high levels I experienced previously.

From this time I felt trapped in my job because I had been unable to transfer out of the department.  I also experienced some minor bullying from a few peers who were jealous because I had moved home to a better property.  This was dealt with.  My response had usually been to ignore it and get on with my work although I did have some conversations with my then manager about it.

My sister died suddenly of a heart attack in July 2012 and I was tested for the same thing as I had started to have heart symptoms.  (I had been healthy before the bullying started and have always exercised and eaten a good diet.)  I was found to have the same condition and put on medication for life.  My belief is that the stress of my work situation caused this.  When I had an MRI scan I heard the consultant say that without treatment I had about 3 months to live.  There is a family history of deaths from heart disease.

I was under constant pressure to return to the main office which I resisted as I would be back in the same room as the bullying manager.  I had made my employers aware of my health problems.  At one stage I was asked what I would do if forced to go back and I replied that I would resign.  I was left where I was for a while longer.

I heard one of my more sympathetic colleagues saying that the bullying manager had made constant references to my age when I was on his team because he had wanted a sexual relationship with me.  As I was not interested he set out to convince me that no one else would want me because of my age. With hindsight, it seems that when no action was taken as a result of the investigation his intention was to taunt and humiliate me, possibly because he believed he had “got away with it”.

At this time I was a representative on a management/staff consultative group and suggested that each department have a person of middle manager grade (who did not manage a team) as a contact for people who felt they were being bullied and did not feel able to discuss it with their own manager. This suggestion was not acted upon and was never mentioned again.

My aunt died in February 2013.  I had helped care for her for 4 years.

In the autumn of 2013 there was yet another reorganisation and I was allocated to manage a team on a system neither I nor the team members had been trained for.  This was extremely stressful for all concerned and I was very worried about my health as I was constantly dealing with angry callers and tearful staff.  I was told that the only option would be to return to the main office but that the bullying manager would be in an adjoining room so I would have minimal contact with him.  I therefore felt I had no choice but to move as I believed I was at an increased risk of a heart attack [I now wish I had resigned then].  I said I would give it a try.

We were informed that the department would be moving to a different floor and all members of staff would be in the same room.  Although very unhappy about this, I had no alternative but to move.  Within a few weeks I told my manager I was not comfortable at being in the same room as the bullying manager.  He was making comments which clearly related to me. There was no response.  Shortly afterwards he was shortlisted for a senior manager post in the department and printed the interview letter when I was near the printer.  I saw him laughing to himself when I glanced over the letter.  I told my manager that I would not work for this man if he was promoted and again said I was not comfortable at working in the same room as him.  Again, there was no response.

A few weeks later I told my manager I hated being in the same room as the bully and was not happy.  Yet again there was no response.

Another uncle died in June 2014 and my son’s best friend was killed in a motor bike accident in July.

Rumours had begun to circulate about me again, the bullying manager said to his team within my hearing that I was socially isolated and that was why I was not putting the situation behind me [obviously it would have been much to his advantage if I had stopped saying I was not happy about the proximity to him].  On another occasion he started talking about have to consult age concern as I passed his desk.

Shortly after this I heard my then manager saying to colleagues that my family do not expect me to live long.  This was devastating to hear, particularly after all the deaths in my family.  He had contacted my emergency contact (my niece) and discussed my private and family life which he then relayed to colleagues.  The rules within this branch of the civil service are clear: such contact can only be made with the permission of the relevant staff member.  I would never have given permission and certainly was not asked, particularly as my niece has her own issues.  She has refused to give a statement about this – although she has confirmed the conversation to other family members and people she knows locally.  I had only given her as an emergency contact because she is the only relative left who lives in my locality.

This was the final straw for me so I handed in my notice in summer 2014.  I heard the head of legal enforcement for the South of England discussing a security check on the telephone and asking whether a particular case had been accessed.  Several times over the next few weeks I heard rumours that he had requested a security check be done on me so that I could be pressurised into withdrawing my resignation by threatening me with loss of pension.

I was interviewed by a senior manager who was not unsympathetic.  She gathered information on what had happened, and asked me about the original situation with the bullying manager (I appreciated her thoroughness).  Her sister had been one of my witnesses: the deputy manager to the bullying manager.  The senior manager established the truth: I heard her discussing it with the head of department.  I believe the former deputy was manipulated into lying by the bullying manager and I believe regrets her part in this.  The senior manager also spoke to my latest manager.  I still find it surprising that, having been told by me 3 times that I was unhappy in my post, he rang my emergency contact to ask if I had any friends and saying that I did not mix with people at work.  This was a failure to make a connection between cause and effect at the very least as well as a breach of procedure, trust and confidentiality.  There has been no admission or apology from my employer about this.  In fact in a later letter they stated that it was not true that the contact had been made.  There is no other way my manager could have found out about what my family say about me as the next nearest relative is in London.  The employer did not hold telephone numbers for any other relatives apart from the one who was contacted.

Prior to resigning I asked for a civil service pension forecast.  I heard the head of department on the phone asking for a pension forecast to be delayed as he was trying to sort something out and did not want to lose the staff member.  I had to complain to obtain my pension forecast.  After receiving it I resigned.  The head of department was a former member of the Metropolitan Police who had “retired” because of corruption.  More about his shenanigans on another occasion.

I consulted a solicitor and a barrister independently who both confirmed I had a case of constructive dismissal. The barrister also considered there had been victimisation.  I therefore applied to an industrial tribunal and had to initiate the negotiation process via ACAS, but my employer refused to negotiate.

As I was finding this very stressful and am mindful of the possibility of a heart attack, I decided not to go to an industrial tribunal but wrote to the operations manager of the agency.  There was no response at this stage.

I had planned to work for a further 3 years but applied for my civil service pension when I resigned.  I did not have another job to go to and needed to live!  I was told there would be a delay of 3 months.  After this time had passed I complained that I had still not received my occupational pension and was told that my complaint would be passed to a specialist team from whom I would be hearing within 2 weeks.  After another month had gone by I wrote to my MP who fortunately acted very quickly and I at long last received my pension.  I heard on the rumour-mill that my pension had been blocked by the head of the department as the intention was to reinstate me.  The rumour of blocking was later denied by the operations manager when she replied to a letter I sent to the chief executive.  The solicitor I consulted had warned me that my ex-employer would lie about anything I could not prove.  He had dealt with them on many occasions.

At this time I was applying for part-time jobs and was contacted by a local employment agency asking if I was interested in temping.  I had to give my previous employer as a referee and my most recent manager gave a verbal reference for me.  Although he said my work was good and the organisation wanted me back, he also said that I did not mix with colleagues and my family did not expect me to live long because of heart disease.  I heard one of the agency consultants saying “How can we send someone who might die to a client?”  After a few months they decided to take a risk on me and the client told the agency that I was not at all as the verbal reference had stated.  I have subsequently worked for several local businesses via this agency and been surprised at how much better I am treated than I was in the civil service.

Although the standard phrase is trotted out that “bullying will not be tolerated” by the operations manager, the reality is that it is and there is an apparent lack of will to tackle it, although I do understand that this is difficult as the bully and the victim will have their own versions of what happened and why.

The gossip around the town began again and I would hear details of my resignation being discussed.  As I had only mentioned the issues to one or two trusted friends in the area I am aware that the gossip stemmed from my former department.  People there tend to be singled out and labelled in a negative way as eg “not to be messed with” or “backstabbing”.  This could be a sign of an unhealthy organisation made so by the endemic bullying culture and lack of trust or confidence in most (but not all) of the senior managers.  There are some good managers there.

I asked for a SAR data protection print of my personal file.  I know there had previously been emails sent to the then head of department about me as a result of my report of being bullied.  At one stage in 2012 weekly reports had been sent to him.  None of this documentation was sent to me and I believe that the file had been “sanitised” (anything “incriminating” to the management of the department had been removed).  This is standard practice when clients ask for details of their cases.  Unsurprisingly I was not sent any documentation which would have helped my case.

When my final manager had contacted my niece as well as gossiping about the conversation he also wrote to my GP.  Following my resignation I heard him ring up and say a letter had been sent in error (after a whispered conversation with the latest senior manager in the department when she told him he had better deal with the letter quickly).

A few months later I was at my doctor’s practice collecting a prescription when I heard the receptionists discussing the letter sent by my former employer.  It had been decided to keep the letter on file as it was about me.  I therefore requested a SAR print of my medical file.  When I made it clear I wanted this letter I was told there was nothing on file.  On my next visit I heard the receptionists saying that the former manager had been contacted.  He had clearly not given permission for the letter to be released to me.  I then decided to change to a different practice after 26 years with that one.

My niece’s continued refusal to give a statement about the conversation she had had with my last manager and the gossip she passed on has caused trouble in my family and for me in my home town.  My former employer is aware that she refuses to give a statement and this has played into their hands.  In reply to my second letter the operations manager said that my last manager “could not remember” the conversation with my niece.

She went to school with the daughter of the man I had gone out with briefly and has contact with her on social media.  Further rumours were then spread about me in my home town.

The bullying manager heard sexual references about me and has been broadcasting “information” on Facebook this year.  He justified this by saying that I had tried to get him dismissed – not that he had caused his own difficulties by bullying me!  Thus, the bullying became cyber-bullying.  He became aware that I knew of this and first of all removed it from Facebook but then reinstated it. He apparently believes that Facebook is his private means of communication so he can write whatever he wants.

RESPONSIBILITY FOR WORKPLACE BULLYING

This shows that bullying can happen to anyone.  It often appears to happen to people who are good at their job and/or liked.  If it happens at a vulnerable time in someone’s life it can have a huge effect.  If my former employer had listened and taken the necessary action I would still be a civil servant.  I have endured health difficulties, been the subject of data protection breaches, and suffered financial losses.  The bullying manager was taken off for several conversations but I suspect that as he is a skilled liar there was no will to tackle him and remove him from management duties.  I simply wanted to get away from him.  Sometimes a demotion can be more effective than a dismissal.  When an organisation knows that one of its managers is a bully because a number of complaints have been received over the years and the manager is still in a people management role, who is most to blame – the manager or the organisation?  There are other roles available of the same grade which do not involve managing people.

An organisation which is confident, open and honest would have apologised and done its best to rectify the situation.  As it was, the closed, rigid, defensive culture meant it did not.  I have never received an apology or acknowledgement for the way I was treated.  People there tend to leave when their experience of being targeted becomes too much for them and this is a huge waste of resources in training and expertise.  Senior managers seem to be more interested in their next promotion than creating a positive, effective organisational culture.

I believe the cause of all this was that 2 men (one from outside the civil service and one from inside) became nasty because I did not want a sexual relationship with either of them (and they say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!).

WAYS TO DEAL WITH BULLYING

I feel schoolchildren should be educated about the causes and effects of bullying.  Also employers should do much more to tackle it.  Better training and far more effective sanctions are needed.  Perhaps a system of impartial, trained mediators could be introduced to help those who feel themselves to be in a position of bullying or being bullied, so that individual problems can be dealt with at an early stage without blame being attached.  Someone who can listen and take positive action would make a huge difference.  Ongoing support by the mediators would be invaluable and possibly save employers money spent in having to recruit and train new people to replace those who eventually feel they have no alternative but to resign – as I did.

In September 2015 I checked my bank account and found that I had received no occupational pension payments for June, July and August!  I rang Civil Service Pensions who apologised and told me I would receive the back payments within 5 working days of 28 September.  After this deadline passed and no payment had been made I again rang them. I was told that I should not have been given this advice as it had taken 2 days to pass my case to the specialist team and they now had a deadline of 15 October to meet. I was contacted on 15 October and advised of how much I would receive. This included part of a lump sum they should have paid me earlier in the year when my occupational pension was calculated.

I received a letter giving a breakdown of the payment to be made but no apology! Again, I am not surprised!

 

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